auxilium

An Alliance of Compassionate Leaders

Director of UX

Affinity Solutions

Male

Age 34

Corey was questioning whether he wants to spend a lot of time on management. He felt as if he were spending so much time improving things for others at the expense of foregoing things he genuinely wished to do, all without any appreciation in return.

Leveraging the support he received from the community, Corey turned his weekly design sessions with direct reports into a psychologically safe space to discuss the emotions everyone felt in relation to their work and life. He also carried out a very difficult and honest conversation with a direct report that weren’t meeting expectations.

Within 3 weeks of implementing his new approach to the weekly design sessions, both Corey and his team started to feel more confidence in each other. Corey also felt more hopeful about the direct report who had been underperforming and so did the direct report.

Within 6 weeks, a teammate gave Corey credit for what he’s done and has gone through in the past 4 years. The teammate also told him how he wishes he could have supported Corey more in the past and how supported he now feels given the new style of leadership Corey’s implemented with the support of the community. Corey was surprised. He also felt validated and appreciated. Corey now thinks that leadership can be quite rewarding.

To learn the details of Corey’s journey:

Sr. Director of Online Security

CoStar Group

Female

Age 43

Kelsey struggled to align her values with her company’s culture. She wasn’t sure the upward mobility, increased responsibility, and financial compensation were worth feeling like she cannot be her authentic self at work. But she was pregnant and there were many unknowns with having her first child. She felt as if she had to stay in the company to be a “good mom.”

Within 6 weeks of receiving support from the community, Kelsey developed the courage required to quit her job and leave her company while pregnant. The support of the community had not only led her to make an unexpected connection which landed her a job offer she could not have felt more excited to accept, but also gave her a new way of deciding whether or not to take a job offer.

The support of the community also helped Kelsey feel less tied to her job as her identity and less anxious about having to make the most money possible to be a “good mom.” The community helped her feel so much more open to possibilities and less fearful of change for the future that she almost felt like she could do anything. It had been a long time since she’s felt her career options widening rather than narrowing. Above all, she felt like she could become a parent that modeled career as something that fuels her passion, not something that drains her and keeps her from being the person she strives to become.

To learn the details of Kelsey’s journey:

Scientific Business Development Manager

Diagnostica Stago

Male

Age: 47

Paul struggled to show that he can focus on a task and push it through to completion. He wanted to  delve into some mental blocks holding back his progress and to develop the ability required to gain greater focus, which could impact his career and health in a positive way.

With the support of the community, Paul realized that he had to learn when to ask for help. He started by bringing his wife and children along in his journey, developing their leadership, rather than doing things for them or never asking them for help, which is what he used to do. This then lessened the frustration he felt with his wife and family, which then helped him feel more calm, content, and productive at work.

Paul then started to focus more on how he can develop other people’s talents at work by not giving them all of the answers. This was in contrast to his usual pattern of getting more involved in other people’s problems. This change in approach helped him stay more focused on his goals.

Within 6 weeks of receiving support from the community, Paul was able to advance projects better with a higher level of trust between different team members. He was also able to form better connections with customers and communicate more clearly with them in order to resolve their issues in a better way.

As a result of all this, Paul has also been able to go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, monitor his blood pressure, take his allergy medicine, make his medical appointments for allergy shots consistently, and follow his doctors’ advice to gain a better state of health overall.

To learn the details of Paul’s journey:

Director of Engineering

Series E Stage Tech Startup

Female

Age: 40s

She needed a change but feared there were too many options to explore. She could build her own business, work in a high-value role for someone else, or any number of alternatives to the corporate grind. She was worried about losing focus, being influenced too much by what other people wanted for her, and not being clear on what she wanted for herself.

With the support of the community, she felt more connected to her values again. This meant that for the first time in a long time, she had clarity in her priorities so that she can be intentional with every decision. While actively connected to her values, she felt more able to execute on more complex and vaguely defined tasks such as maintaining a home or making a decision on where to move next. This then improved her ability to collaborate with her partner such that they can say ‘Here’s what I want. Here’s what you want. How about we do this thing that meets both our needs?’ instead of merely giving or taking orders from each other. 

Within 6 weeks of receiving support from the community, she decided not to take most of the jobs that are being presented and to seriously start planning to work for herself in collaboration with her partner.

To learn the details of her journey:

Sr. Director

Global Management Consulting Firm

Male

Age: 40s

He felt that something was lacking. With an intense consulting job, where learning curve is steep, hours are long, and work is always under pressure, he felt that while both the pay and his career progression was good, there was still something was lacking.

During the very first session with the community, he became aware of the hurt and vengefulness that lived inside of him. He also realized that while the most important thing to him was his family, he had thus far prioritized work or personal interests over his family, especially his wife.

With the support of the community, he began spending more 1-on-1 time with his wife and children. He also began to slowly rebuild some of his other personal relationships that had been strained over the years.

Within 6 weeks of receiving support from the community, he shifted his focus to his family. He was spending more and more time sharing the burden associated with kids and household work with his wife. He felt excited and hopeful to keep up the momentum they have created with the new family dynamic.”

To learn the details of his journey:

Product Owner

Construction Services Company

Female

Age: 30s

She felt stuck in her role at her company. It was repetitive and did not allow her to be creative. She had also been trying to act on an idea for an app she’s had for years. But she was hesitating, afraid of how others may think of her. She was ashamed and disappointed in herself for caring so much about the validations and opinions of strangers.

Within 6 weeks of receiving support from the community, she began to care less about what other people thought of her. Why? Because the community helped her learn to listen to her emotions and listening to her emotions helped her understand that the reason she gets stuck caring so much is that staying stuck is easier than making progress on her ideas. Because if she makes progress, she’ll have to leave her job to pursue her ideas further, which can lead to failure. What lay at the root of her care was fear.

The community also helped her learn how to shift her focus to understanding her emotions and move forward vs dwell on her emotions for days blaming other people for her emotions, which is what she used to do. As a result, she’s become much more easygoing and calm. So much so that her friends have been asking her “where has the old you gone?”

To learn the details of her journey: